I have decided to finish the "orange section" of my blogger here.

January . 2003.
stranger feelings still - getting more and more stronger - arguments with jimmy over the situation - official break - queries in me - should or should not...?

February. 2003
Lord of the Rings 'The Two Towers'- a sweet night - conversation with Alfred - encouragements from him - doubts - worries -decided to ask - 'need to think over it' - helpless - agreed - relief - Valentine's Day - James Bond movie - ...

March . 2003
sweetness - numerous phonecalls again - pigs or not pigs - what kind of a pig - ...

April. 2003
study leave - your 18th birthday - first photo - mcmug card - ...

May. 2003
official beginning of CE - studying in the clubhouse together - studying at home together - mcdonalds breakfast at home together - saw mum again taken by surprise - asked you if i was good or not - discussion of exams - ...

June. 2003
end of CE - pizza hut@ metro city - festival walk - first cried in MTR -

July . 2003
HK park numerous times - Pacific Place -Times Square - mccafe chocolate cake and iced chocolate - Finding Nemo - cold cinema, human heater - ...

August . 2003
Tomb Raider - $220 Spaghetti House Dinner - Chinchilla! - arrived home 10:45pm - The Classic - 12noon in the cinema - HK park photos - HK park tower photos -dropped my DC - Tai Koo Shing seaside - mosquito bites - autograph message - phonecalls in the airport till the last minute - promises made - plane departs...

expensive long-distance phonecalls ...


... Prediction of Sept, Oct, Nov and Dec. 2003
we will continue. better than previous...

Weather: Chilly in the morning, hot in the afternoon
Mood: Average

First person out of bed AGAIN. I was actually *slightly* complained by my roommate Luise that I woke up too early and my alarm clock wakes her up. Well... I can't help it. So not used to getting up early and ready for school on a Saturday. After 5 days of exhaustion and school, they still have to torture us on a Saturday.
Breakfast was again, not at all good (the same old things again, bacon, sausages, eggs, muffin, the salad bar...). The only good thing was the pear danish that I have already eaten for 2 days in a row and the Hot Chocolate. I absolutely love the Hot Chocolate. Couldn't stay for too long since we had House Meeting at 8:40am.
Had the first period free, so I took time quite casually. Yi May, a very funny Malaysian tomboy, thought she had first lesson free too and actually decided to go earlier for the Library Computers. Luckily she left her phone and came back, because it turned out that she actually had a Maths lesson in the first period!
Saw Celina's Maths book on the sofa and took it for her. Not realizing that she actually didn't have her book with her, Celina walked and walked until we were at Claridge House (reception building, a little away from GIH, our house), that I asked her did she forget to bring something. She was frantic and wanted to go back. Haha. I produced the book, wondering how one can actually forget such a heavy book (believe me, I have seen a lot of people carrying their Maths book cause it was sooooo heavy).
The library was full, first time I've seen people waiting to go into the library for free periods. I found a seat downstairs, but having the sun shining directly on me. I successfully ignored it and finished my Chinese composition finally. Because of the lack of practice, I have actually forgotten how to write some Chinese words that I previously know how to write. *sigh*
English next, talked about poetic meters (meaning the rhythm, the pattern of stresses and the lighter sounds). She actually gave us a jumbled version of 'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day' to rearrange and think of the meter. It wasn't of much use, since people did it off their memory and not with the meters. I could tell Alex beside me was really confused, and felt he wasn't really in the right classroom. Can't blame him, a science LSC student taking Higher English in IB, studying advanced English Literature.
Yi May tried to borrow a pound from me at break, but she couldn't really find enough for a pound in my coins bag, which just shows how poor I am at this moment. Met up with Lynsey (Malaysian girl), Yuki (half-Japanese and half-European guy) and Jason in front of the Dining Hall. Maybe I haven't had fizzy drinks for such a long time, that I actually spilled some down in front of me when trying to drink a sip of the Sprite Yi May handed to me. I don't know why that happened, but that certainly shocked everyone in front of me and they were all trying to hold me up and asking "Are you alright?" Kinda embarrassing, but never mind.
Discovery: Jason has an obsession with the color pink.
Had Maths after break. Found that I was the only one in the class who has actually finished the exercise. It really wasn't hard, but somehow, the people in my class didn't know how to do those. They were just quadratic equations, finding the x, quadratic formula, and finding x in terms of other letters. Antonia, who was a German girl, and had Biology with me too, kept asking me how to do questions, some which I thought were really easy and very hard to explain. Then the teacher asked who wanted the answers to the questions, and was quite shocked when I rose up my hand, because practically everyone were still working on the questions (which were given to us 3 days ago).

Teacher: You've finished them all already?
Me: Yah.
Teacher: No questions to ask me at all?
Me: I don't think so...
Antonia: She's really really good...
Me: (-_-|||.......)
And he was looking at me with a quizzical expression on his face.

Early lunch. Practically swallowed the pasta and the vegetables (which I have been forcing myself to eat EVERY MEAL) because everyone on my table was leaving so hurriedly. But we had sports next (Aerobics) and it starts at 2:45, about 1 and a half hours after our lunch. So what could we do in that period of time? Lynsey was complaining about it...so was everyone else...
Got there at 2:45 and discovered that the teacher didn't come. Again. Last week was already like this. But looking towards the optimistic side, we had free time again (although I still haven't had one Action hour yet).
Decided not to have the school dinner and Vivian, Lulu (U6 from HK and mainland), Celina and I cooked fried rice, sausages and cabbages, asparagus with eggs, and baked brownies and a chicken pie for dinner in the Annexe. The kitchen in the Annexe was so full, when compared to the Main House. No one was cooking in the kitchen of the Main House at all, but they were all queuing for the oven in the Annexe. The meal was soooo good. Haven't eaten a decent meal recently (with very few exceptions at the start of the week) and felt so grateful to everyone who contributed to the meal. I mean, we actually had cooked cabbage (when compared to the raw lettuce, tomatoes,cucumbers,etc. in the Salad Bar). The whole house is so quiet now. Don't know where everyone went.
Going to Bluewater tomorrow, it's a big shopping mall out of town, which is considered as a luxury to us, being stuck inside this small town (although the supermarkets and shops are just down the street). Still... some people need to shop for their Freshers' Ball dress. I'm not too satisfied with mine either actually... but.... oh well...
Still have an English essay due next week. Comparison of the two poems, the title, intentions, form and structure, use of language and tone... etc...
And also a Biology prep too.
People here like to do their work in the last minute, unlike us, who like to do it in advance. So that's why many people thought I was nuts to do work that's due next week.

Weather: Fine and warm
Mood: Ok, but declining again

Let's just add something from last night.
Dinner was absolutely horrible, because they were trying to make rice or something, but the sauce was really watery, just...really disgusting. Adding to the fact that I didn't have any lunch because I was waiting for medical. But by the time I it was just about my turn, we had to go for a VSU meeting again, so... there were no medical, and no lunch.
Ate a cheese toastie and it was SO GOOD...
Ok, so when it was prep time, about 6 of us gathered into one room and did our work on the floor. Well, of course it was not that efficient. Did stupid stuff like taking stupid photos and videos on a DC (digital camera).
Realized that my chocolate cake's due date was actually 11th Sept, so went through the whole house and asked if anyone wanted chocolate cake. Everyone was obviously craving for chocolate, so the cake was scraped in no time.
Ate another cheese toastie and cup noodles.

Got up in the morning at 6:30am, 15 minutes later than my usual wake-up time. It was so cold, I was in no intention to crawl out of my warm bed and into the cold toilet. Well, probably everyone had the same thought, so even at 7 which was the usual wake up time for most of the people on my floor, there weren't anyone in the toilet at all.
Must have been the cold weather, everyone was snuggled up inside their warm beds, not wanting to go out at all.

They had tomato and cheese toasties again for breakfast in the Dining Hall (I really don't know why I suddenly had so many toasties).
English lesson, discussing about that piece of prose again (we have been like, focusing on it for n lessons already). Discussed symbolism, and the restrictions of it.
Mandarin lesson. Got my paper back and had 4 marks deducted. Argh. I really don't know why one of the questions were wrong. ... Does 'priceless' really mean, 'without a price'? Noooo....it just means, really precious... well...
Psychology. Have been sleeping through the first few minutes, (everyone else too, probably), and the teacher suddenlly fired me a question. Argh. Had no clue. Luckily the question he asked was just llike... personal choice, so when I said 'I don't know' it didn't cause much problem.
Had PSD (Personal and Self Development) which was just basically a talk given to us by a lawyer. Something about determing right and wrong.
Quick lunch and then Choral Society.
Well, after having been in Diocesan Choirs, I really can't stand it here. We just sung through it once (even though a lot of people didn't open their mouths and it was out of tune and NOT blended at all), didn't even try to pronounce the Latin together (which I'm sure a lot of people won't know how to say it correctly), and... it was just very simple. And we are supposed to have it for a concert too.
What the heck...
Went back to the house for Medical with the Doctor.
Planned to go to Society's Fair but was inched when walking along. That pissed me off too.
Hate to be inched... especially when it's 2 people allying together to inch me. Arghhh...
Went to the library but didn't last really long actually.

We planned to go to the IC to celebrate 'Mid-Autumn Festival' (haha) but someone got the time wrong and went to town. Well we brought the cake to the IC too, but as it had been frozen in the freezer for 5 days, we had to use to microwave to defroze it. First time I had to use a microwave that way.
Something embarrassing happened. As I had to go into town, in hope to be able to buy something, I actually got there 30 minutes later than first promised to a person who was already in there and waiting. Didn't stay long though.
I didn't know someone was attractive enough to be asked about twice where she was. And attractive enough to join her too. Mmm...
(Ok, I'm confusing everyone around here. Never mind.)
Think I should have a bath before I do my work.

Oh, and my email address, school account:
HO..01@sevenoaksschool.org

I know it sounds strange, but it's my pupil ID code lor...

Weather: Cold
Mood: Ok, but declining

Finally sorted out my mood today after a looooong talk with Vivian (U6 from HK).
Economics today. Reviewed some economical terms, which were familiar ones (ceteris paribus, etc.).
Free period and wrote a letter to Grace!
English, was looking at two poems and comparing them, which I didn't really have a lot of mood to.
Biology, going over the jelly cube experiment yesterday, and some theory stuff, which was basically copying off the board. And identifying the structure of cells.
Went back to have medical at Lunch (didn't have any lunch), but the queue was so long that I finally gave up and went to the VSU meeting.
I was finally allocated to a primary school to assist P3 and P4 in music lessons. Mmmm...interesting...

But what I was really pissed off was the thing that happened afterschool.
I was supposedly meeting Jason in town, because I had to mail some letters and I didn't have stamps and I didn't want to go out alone. He told me to help him get a form for a bank account because he was on the other side of town and the bank was closing. He also told me to call him after I got it.
Well, I did. I got the form, and I called him. But the calls went to voicemail. What was I supposed to do all alone out there in the streets? So then I went to the post office, and to WHSmith. It wasn't until when I was about to leave that he called asking why I hadn't called him and said that he probably was on the phone and didn't know he had call waiting. Duh... and that he was walking on his way back to IC.
So that was when I decided to send an SMS to him. No much response. ....... -_-|||
*sigh*

Well, I'm controlling my emotions. I am very calm... (well at least trying to be). I will return back to normal after tonight, hopefully. But I still can't promise I won't be a tiny bit... well... I don't know...

Better get back up to my commentary and essays. Oh, and I left the music on my computer upstairs, and Luise doesn't like it....arghh....

Weather: Cold
Mood: Bad

Twice in a row, my mood has been down in the pits. I think one reason is the privacy one, that I so want to let down my load of stress and everything inside me. It's tiring to act perfect (not that it's hard, just tiring) every minute, and I'm starting to feel some invisible stress inside me. Not that I have loads of work, on the contrary, I have so few now that I'm starting to get worried. It's basically everything. The feeling of wanting to be good at everything, because I feel that it's a chance to start all over again. But for the time being, it's not that easy to.
In here, another thing I have to encounter is the social circle here. Since half of the 6th Form are new, everyone has being trying to make friends, sometimes I'm not really THAT good. I mean, long-lasting relationships work out fine with me, close friends are ones I'm good with, but aquaintances are not something I'm good at making and keeping. Something we learnt in psychology. Behavoristic psychology. Your past experiences and environment determine your personality. I personally agree it's true, well, at least for me it is. My failures in thinking what actually are true friendships failed for me, so now, I'm not really that confident and making friends and confiding to them. Had too many painful experiences that are discouraging me now.

English - had a drizzle this morning and stopped after the first lesson. Not really in the mood to say anything. The teacher kept looking at me wishing I could have said something. Luckily towards the end, I could tell her that the word 'sign' in the passage is a pun.
Psychology - Definitions of the different types of approaches to psychology.
ToK - discussed what are the good things of the IB system (so hard-selling).
Biology - did practical which was basically cutting stained DCPIP jelly into different cubes and see how fast will the Vitamin C decolourize the blue on the jelly.
Maths - Did the same maths questions again, and I can actually teach people how to do maths! A feeling of success suddenly.
Economics - Defined 'Macroeconomics' (I am getting tired of definitions all day long!!!) and discussed inflation, unemployment...those basic stuff. Saw some old figures (dated back to 1996) and discussed.

*NOTE* I was not in the mood the whole day!

Weather: Starting to get cooler
Mood:... unstable

Don't know why, today felt so strange. The whole day, I was like having this huge burden on me.
I admit, the stress is starting to build in, everything is starting to have pressure. And you simply just can't express it out. Because you are with people 24 hours a day. You don't get any privacy at all. Maybe that's one of the reasons why the strange feeling is creeping up.

Had the first 2 periods free in the library. Helped Gilbert to interpret his piece of English. Ended up writing 2 pages long of 'explaination', which looked more like an essay to me. The Cat went into the library too in the 2nd period, and everyone's head went to look at it. I mean, how often do you see a cat appear in the library? Oh and that woman was shouting 'can you please be quiet?' again in the library. This was already better, last time she just simply said 'Shut Up!' Well, in my opinion (and a lot of other people's as well), she was the noisiest there.
Biology and Economics again. Seemed to have these 2 every day. Well, they are my Highers afterall.
Not much, copied notes again for Biology, discussed the meaning of 'Economics' again (why do teachers love discussing the definition with you?)

After Lunch, were supposed to have Games (horse riding), but they weren't enough horses, so the priority went to the U6 and I went back to the House. It was then when I received Serena's letter and I could have sweared, I was smiling the whole way through. One reason was because I could almost imagine and very chatty Serena in front of me talking away... Second was because... the unidentified feeling came back again, and it felt so much like I had a friend beside me, that I wanted to cry that instant. But there were people in my room and I held them back.
Then tried to phone back to a few people in HK but the phone wasn't answered.

Could one person affect me so much? Or was it only the feeling or was it mixed together?
I want to talk to someone soooo much now...

I'm supposed to have sectional orchestra rehearsal (which I don't want to have because i'm not familiar with those peope and I don't want to miss lunch), see my tutor, and kitchen duty tomorrow.
*sigh*
I hate the unidentified feeling... can't it just go away?,...

Weather: Fine
Mood: Good

Such a memorable birthday today. Went out last night to eat, with some guys and some girls, but ended up being in an adventure out in the dark school grounds. More about that later, although it's not something to be really proud off.
So woke up today and a lot of people were already saying Happy Birthday. Fire drill at 6:45am, what a start. So obviously, no one went back to sleep and had really early breakfast.
*Happy birthdays kept ringing at breakfast*
Had my photograph taken for the ID card. It was quite hilarious because the person who took it didn't actually say anything. She just went click and took your photo, maybe a whole lot more uglier too. Had Biology, which involved Maths and ratio, calculating the actual lengths of cells. Had economics then, watched a video about scarcity and choices and capital goods and consumer goods (yah, the boring CE syllabus)...
PSychology next was briefly explaining the syllabus. Woo, it was quite hard actually, you have to think everything the 'psychological way'.
Had my first lesson of PTH. Did some pastpaper, they were really really easy. Even easier than the ones in CE.
Lunch again with them. The usual people, if you have been following my blogs.
Maths test after lunch. It was pretty easy. I *nearly* forgot about how to calculate equations of lines. Luckily could remember it finally.
Free period in the 6th period in the library. All computers were full, so had to sit and read my psychology book. BUT unfortunately, suddenly had pains in my stomach (girls, you should know the kind of feeling), and couldn't concentrate at all.
Orchestra afterschool, but had too serious a stomachache to play, and I haven't chosen my cello yet. So just sat and looked at the score. What I discovered was, this orchestra, is a little too 'informal' compared to the one in DG.
Ronzi, if you are reading this, I have a feeling that the cello section here was even worse than ours last year. I mean, when the were tuning, I was actually wondering 'what? it's already tuned?' Cause they clashed and it sounded as if they weren't even tuned.
Also the beats were not accurate, the notes were out of tune (I'm being picky here, but still...), and you should have heard the 1st violins. ..... they clashed one another.
After having survived in the DGS string and full orchestra, it is quite hard to accept the quality of the orchestra here. I mean, the difference between them is, in DG, we were training for competitions, to win and to bring *glory* (sorry for the use of this word, but it's true), here, it's just for pleasure and enjoyment. But I'm not used to it at all. I'm afraid my appreciation of good orchestras and music will be altered after playing here too long.
Went to the Dining Hall for dinner after orchestra, still in uniform. Gilbert called to see if we could save some seats for him and some other people. That was strange cause he never asked anything like it before. But... I don't know, people can change.
Anyway, got there, and used 2 blazers and a phone to try to save seats, basically just not letting some people into the seats. And that was when they arrived. With something. They actually bought a cake among them,well, expecting me to blow candles in the Dining Hall. Honestly, I was really touched because apart from my parents, no one actually bought me a cake before. And boys too...haha...(that was just a sign of excitement, didn't really actually mean anything, don't get me wrong!)
Because it was house meeting and there were only 15 minutes left for it, we had to take the cake back to GIH. But I felt bad, cause they bought the cake, but they couldn't eat it... *sigh* But House Meeting couldn't be missed... so...
Hurried back and saw some people walking very hurriedly taking bags of shopping. Well, I somehow *knew* there was something, it just showed, but being the clever me, I didn't show any signs of knowing.
What I didn't know, was just before the end of house meeting, some people carried 2 cakes in... With a lot of things... I haven't seen balloons for a long time, and a card, and a little gift. My eyes were actually moisted. Never in my whole life have I been given that surprise. And people actually care about you... felt so touched.
But only managed to finish one of the cake, cause it was a large one, up to 15 servings it said, and I cut it into really small pieces. We still have one of that cake, and the boys' cake. So I'm just trying to decide whether we should invite them over to finish that cake or not, cause it really is their cake, and it would really bad if they can't have any.
What a day. Oh I finally have some work. Chinese composition to be handed in next week, but apart from that, no. Argh. I did wish I had work! Probably this sounds really bratty to a lot of people, because they are loaded with all kinds of work...but...it's equally depressing not to. And for so many days too.

I have to admit, the 17th Birthday was so memorable. I guess it's exciting to be the first one in the house to have a birthday, but then, you know that everyone will have that kind of bdays too.
Finished prep time.