blogger has some problems now and... yeah. and the settings got mixed up.. so i guess i'll have to ... see what happens

為甚要受苦痛的煎熬 快快走上歡笑的跑道
剩一分熱仍是要發光 找緊美好
春風一吹草再甦 永遠不見絕路 明日變遷
怎麼可知道 何事悲觀信命數 似朝陽正初升
你要自信有光明前路 願知生命誠可貴
能為你鼓舞 路上我願給你輕輕扶
你會使我感到好驕傲
幸福歡樂陪著你去找一生美好 將一聲聲嘆息
化作生命力 懷著信心解開生死結
雲霧消失朗日吐 以真誠我祝福你
會踏上那光明的路 願將一腔熱誠給你
常為你鼓勵

Just came back from watching a concert. Cultural centre. And, once again, the sensitive me had heaps of thoughts. The cello concert with "Adelaide" (nickname), the Winner's Concert last year...... Everything about that place, anything related to it, makes me remember.
Woke up later than usual, studied history, got a few phone calls (one of them for about an hour), got scolded. Then went out to meet with my cousins to go to that concert.
Someone told me today that my characteristics are shown in my compositions. "表露無遺" were the actual words. Really? I never knew. I guess it's true. Lately the comments on my compos are all "很感人" and things like that. Maybe I really do show my sensitiveness. Is being sensitive good or bad? You may sense how people feel towards things and then you may try not to affect them, but on the other hand, you may get too sensitive and become a worrywart. That's really a big problem, and the thing is, it's your characteristic and hard to change. So I guess I have to bear with it.
*There are just some things that you are not going to forget in your whole life. It stays there, hard and solid, and no matter how hard you try to get it away, it is just impossible. *

Finally have time to post a blog with things happening during the day. Going into the classroom at 8:00am was a mistake. I figured I should probably go in at 8:06, so that the air-con will be on, due to the lovely rules our headmistress repeated at assembly yesterday. (for details go to jen's blog) We didn't have assembly because starting the english compo on time was "essential". Unfortunately, starting it on time not only meant we didn't need to end late, but, we ended EARLY too. 10 minutes, can you imagine. Some people can rewrite their speech even in 10 minutes. And she stopped us 10 minutes earlier. Later grady came up and apologized, saying she "didn't intentionally rob our 10 minutes off". The funny thing was that the words on the blackboard stayed for the whole day as evidence. Whole day. Ha..Didn't have much lessons today. Physics was, as usual, confusing. Maths, the quiz which I cannot say I'm proud at, PE was softball and the people who didn't play had to put away the stuff (note: I am not complaining about it at all, don't get me wrong). Then. Full orch. I can only say I'm very mo loi. You see, we had rehersal yesterday too, and the person next to me didn't come due to leaving her cello somewhere and couldn't get it back. And as usual, I cannot say she's one of those people who play in tune. So today, after being ordered by sko yesterday to practice our stuff, 2 of us played "almost perfect" (not bragging), em... I don't know about the other 2 since I couldn't hear them, but the person beside me was absoulutely horrifying. And I was like, "gosh, we are going to be scolded so much today." I was right. She was so mad that she said anyone who couldn't play in tune on thursday will not play in the concert. And she was looking straight at the person beside me. And began to scold her about not having responsibility. konnie said she's surprised why the person beside me can still sit there at this stage. probably because we've only got 5 cellos and "rthk is going to come and film us." So, I don't know what's going to happen next week. "I don't want you guys to play out of tune in front of the whole of HK." Well, I don't want to either, but it depends whether that person will practise or not.
After orch, handing out of chinese test papers. I did ok, considering how much I've only studied. Enough of that lar.
Rk, nothing special, just talked about stress and that some people were in the dangerous column. The test was not accurate at all. It came out that I am "nearly always happy with little stress". Eh.... me?
Came back home and scanned stuff for my mum's brother (again) and the scanner irritated me so much that I almost gave up. Luckily I was able to finish it with the spirit of 水滴石穿 . Haaaa.... that compre... better not talk about it again.

It's midnight now and I'm still awake. That feeling has rushed up again. The feeling of not belonging to anywhere at all, and fear. I don't know that my eyes still spill very easily. Well, I guess it depends why it does that. And everytime, it's that answer. No matter, if it's just a phrase, just a sentence, or even just a word, I get depressed, or you can say, scared. Scared of what? Being alone? Being alone to handle everything all by myself. Some people may say I'm over-reacting, over-serious, over-devoted, over-worrying, etc. And I admit I am and I sometimes wish I wasn't. But the point is, if I can control it, I wouldn't be here now telling everything out just to "make myself feel better", which I will not because there won't be any use. What's the use of keep telling yourself to stop something when you know it's not easy and you cannot? What's the use of telling people about when you know whether how many words of comfort they say, their won't be any effect on you? And most of all, what's the use of telling yourself not to think about, forget it for awhile, treasure times when you have it, and all those when you know you tend to worry and think about a lot? Or that you are so over-sensitive that everything you meet in the day reminds you of that? Too many questions here, with no answers. Telling yourself not to spill anything from your eyes are useless, as you know they will come out naturally, once you see something, hear something, remember something and think of something.

So, I've finally come online again. Well, for a lot of reasons. Camel said it is very urgent and told me to scan the G7 piano pieces to her. I have a question: does she want the last year one, or this years'? If it is last years' then... what does she want it for? But I won't question it. If it is this year's then... sorry! I didn't buy this years' when I'm not going to use it. And since she said it was urgent, I need to know the answer, so I'm waiting. I'm going to put the tests out of my blog. Better not contaminate it. (jk). And speaking of G8 piano, I really am dead. I'm suppose to learn those 3 pieces before August to "ensure I have a stable foundation". I am dead over G8 aural too. Gosh.....dim suen.....

Urged by my mum and I havta go... maybe later. Full orch tomorrow. "RTHK is coming to film our easter concert". and poy said she rather not play. haa....so... i have to practise to avoid being scolded by sko again... like. we have "so many" cellos lor..

Common test for 2 weeks and a day. So... blog is probably going to be not updated for this time.
Cath: Just that I want to say you had a great speech today. Really.
Ta: If you are ever going to read this, which... I doubt. Don't worry about the yellow matter. We're not that bad. =P

So... so long.... farewell... auf wiedesehen...( for the time being)

Didn't expect my blog to be so useful. And I didn't expect some people to come and read. Should I be honored? Yeah. Frankly speaking I was real boiling before, like two hours ago. But then after half an hour of laughing at the tv (the program, not THE television), I cooled off. I never thought I was really that important to make someone scared and to make someone cry. I really didn't expect it. And frankly speaking, apologies accepted. I admit you've said things that made me disappointed, but the right things that made me cool down, and I believe you meant it. =) And no, I'm not angry anymore. I just want you to know that I was kinda, serious about it and it doesn't matter if you aren't. And I had no intention of telling you what happened the afternoon before, just that the truth came out somehow.
And really, I'm alright now. But don't try that again, or I can't promise I won't be like this again. =) ok?