It's been 8 months since I last came here. In my times of depression, utmost depression. Now, it's that again, but of a different reason.
One of the strengths that allowed me to stand back up again was my goal, my dream. That held me through in a deperate attempt of proving myself worthy, even without him. For months I have been working so so so hard, and using this dream to keep my focused and strong.
Unfortunately, God didn't think it was a good idea.
He didn't give me my dream, perhaps He has some other better plans? I do not know yet, but whatever it is, I will find out later. Perhaps this is the trust I ought to give him, although I have to say, this was not the dream I wanted at all. And indeed, he gave me the Bristol offer right after the rejection. Was it all planned beforehand?

Yes, Cambridge was indeed a dream, and now, a very far-away dream too. I remember what the students said on my interview day, "If you don't get in, mabe it's just because there were two of you with the same character, and they could only choose one." Lots more worthy candidates were rejected than those accepted... and you never know if you were the finalists. Maybe I can persue my Masters degree there (but who actually studies for a Law master?), but now, I have to prove to them they're wrong, that they lost something.