It's midnight now and I'm still awake. That feeling has rushed up again. The feeling of not belonging to anywhere at all, and fear. I don't know that my eyes still spill very easily. Well, I guess it depends why it does that. And everytime, it's that answer. No matter, if it's just a phrase, just a sentence, or even just a word, I get depressed, or you can say, scared. Scared of what? Being alone? Being alone to handle everything all by myself. Some people may say I'm over-reacting, over-serious, over-devoted, over-worrying, etc. And I admit I am and I sometimes wish I wasn't. But the point is, if I can control it, I wouldn't be here now telling everything out just to "make myself feel better", which I will not because there won't be any use. What's the use of keep telling yourself to stop something when you know it's not easy and you cannot? What's the use of telling people about when you know whether how many words of comfort they say, their won't be any effect on you? And most of all, what's the use of telling yourself not to think about, forget it for awhile, treasure times when you have it, and all those when you know you tend to worry and think about a lot? Or that you are so over-sensitive that everything you meet in the day reminds you of that? Too many questions here, with no answers. Telling yourself not to spill anything from your eyes are useless, as you know they will come out naturally, once you see something, hear something, remember something and think of something.