You long for something, but it will never become what you want it to be. Everyone around you thinks you've already obtained it and they all bless you because they think you'll really happy. It looks all so fine and perfect on the surface, but somehow you know it's not true, you do not really own it, you have not obtained it yet. It was just not the time yet. You have fantasies, you have dreams that you already succeeded, but you know deep down in your heart, reality doesn't allow it. You think, never mind, I've still got plenty of time, I can take things slowly. But you can't, there isn't much time left, it's running short and there's nothing you can do in this short period of time. You try to grab the time, tries to stop it, but you can't. It runs away so fast. You think of another solution. And that is to not think about it at all, tell yourself you really don't care about it at all and it can do whatever it wants for all you care. You try to forget it, to lessen your pain when it finally is gone. You think, if I forget it, pretend it never existed, maybe it will be better. No, you cannot. It is not possible to do so. You have already fallen for it, and you can't pretend it never happened. No matter how hard you try to forget it, to push it out of your mind, you can't. It's already taken root in you mind and you can't forget it whenever you want to.