Ash: Well, yeah, not exactly the same, but in a way quite similar. It's the loneliness and helplessness that's similar. You're right, the people aren't that bad as the people over on your side, but the feeling that kills. Like, I absolutely hate groupwork now. You know how those story books describes the unpopular kids always dreading when captains of the baseball team pick the members and the two captains are fighting over him because he is the only left but nobody wanted him on their side? That's just the feeling. That abandoness is so dreadful...
And thinking back that the situation didn't happen a year ago is even worse.

I never tried to give up anything, even when I know I should do it, my brain just doesn't let me give up. Perhaps it's this stubborness which makes me have so many things inside me...I just can't let myself do this..
But what is the use of not giving up? You know it's impossible, that the situation won't change just because you keep on going...
I don't know... that's something my stupid brain doesn't understand and therefore makes me suffer...
Gosh... the reality is out.. actually a long time ago. It's just that it's more clearer now...
And the stubborness is causing more confusion...