I finally kinda got rid of that feeling, did some Econ. and maths. Have to sleep early, if I have to arrive at school at 6:45am tomorrow for rehersal. But, I can't really sleep now (gosh, I sound just like you Gor...). Finally convinced myself that my decision had been right. While reading the prospectuses, I have a tiny feeling inside me that I didn't want to go. Of course, it was not possible to do that, not possible to say I don't want to go all of a sudden. Yes, times had been tough, and I had so really wanted to leave everything behind and start over. Now, circumstances have changed, and I realized I could go through this, I could handle all that pressure and I finally got rid of all the depression. I have so much I can't put aside now. I have so many reasons now why I don't want to go...
So the decision made 3 months ago wasn't exactly wrong, I guess. One more person to worry about is not very pleasant. I can finally convince myself. No matter how difficult it was, it was right after all. Although the ache is still here, and will still stay here for a very long time.