havta go back to school tomorrow again. still in holiday mood, and don't want to go back and work. sigh~ anyway, went to mix choir rehersal today,got a little bit -_-|||| when some people were acting oversensitive and even more -_-||||| when the "flowers" started to produce their "scent". excuse me...... cannot stand it.... then went to "dinner" or "tea" whatever you call it..... with jen and poy...
then got back home at 9:45, dead tired.and have to go to bed anytime. a strange thing happened today. during rehersal, i suddenly got this kind of "uncomfortable-ness" and, well, not physically, but.... in my mind.. i can't explain it. too complicated
jen: no, actually, i do not think it was stupid to have that thought. i mean, isn't it normal (at least for you) to want to talk to someone when you just feel uneasy? it's just that the idea of that person that's making you uncomfortable and feeling stupid. i mean, if you call that stupid, well.... i must be mentally retarded....(you know what i mean,right?)
flipped through the chicken soup for teenage soul 3, and saw a comic that the girl asks the boy, "why don't you laugh at my jokes anymore" (something like that, i can't remember for sure), and the boy says, " i thought you said you wanted a serious relationship!"
it was pretty hilarious at first, but then....
what does "serious relationship" mean? surely not the kind in the comic. but... i know exactly what i want, i really do, just that sometimes, these things can't be totally controlled by yourself. and you have to live with it. sometimes, he can be so serious and devoted that it scares you, other times, it hurts so much when he says something and you ask yourself, is he joking again? there have been times when i have been a little sensitive, i admit it, but yet, maybe there are something in his words that tells you.... he doesn't want to be so "serious" yet. i know i know.. the typical saying..."too young to be serious", but do these things have age limitations? am i only doing all these to satisfy myself only?.... to satisfy my illusions...
i guess i could ask, but.. i'm afraid of the answer....